Faye Dessecker

On Saturday, June 18, 2016, our mother, Dorothy Faye Jones Dessecker, was finally released from the constraints of her physical body and flew from this world. She discovered she had inoperable lung cancer in August of 2015, and bravely lived with it at her home in Waynesville, NC until her death. Dorothy Faye Jones was born on March 19, 1928, to James Herbert and Carlene Rich Jones in Chapel Hill, NC. She grew up in a country house the family built on Mt. Carmel Church Road. Faye had two older sisters, Norma Francis Jones, born in 1922, who tragically died at age 2, and Barbara Rich Jones, born in 1925. Barbara preceded Faye in death in 2010. Just down the road was the farm owned by her grandparents, 'Mama and Papa' Rich. Faye loved to spend time there, sometimes helping with the work, and other times enjoying nature and a good place to hide and read. She was always excited when the town bookmobile would stop by, and told us that she was their biggest customer. In 1939, Faye's father died unexpectedly. This was of course traumatic for Faye, only 11 at the time. But Carlene was a loving mother, strong and resourceful, and with the help of family was able to raise and provide for the girls. Their mother's love, self-reliance and determination help shaped Faye's character. In 1953, she married Zebulon D. Alley, a Korean War hero and the first veteran of that war to return to UNC. They lived in Chapel Hill until Zeb completed his law degree. They had their first son, Doyle Davis, in 1956, and their second, Randall Greer, two years later. The family followed the arc of Zeb's career, moving from Chapel Hill, to Enfield, NC, to Columbia, SC. In 1962, they moved to Zeb's hometown of Waynesville, NC. However, like so many others, Faye and Zeb eventually separated, and she faced the challenge of raising two headstrong boys as a single divorcee. She loved us unconditionally, and worked to understand the confusing and rapidly changing youth culture. She befriended and mothered many of our friends in a manner that was non-judgmental, and was rewarded with great love and affection. Many called her 'Ma', just as we did. In the 70's, Faye worked at Interpreter's House, founded by Methodist minister and theologian Dr. Carlyle Marney, which provided counseling to ministers in crisis. She was exposed her to a range of spiritual and psychological ideas, and the many stimulating participants from all over the world. Dr. Marney was personally very inspiring to her, and she grew to think of him as a second father. In 1978, Faye married James Milner, an instructor at Haywood Technical School. Jim's children, Suzie and Mike, and his wife Cecilia, become like children to her and she remained close to them the rest of her life. Unfortunately, Jim died in 1988, and Faye was once again on her own. In 1992, Faye married Robert Dessecker, Sr., a retired Ford executive. They lived at Bob's home on the Maggie Valley Country Club. Although they later divorced, Faye remained very close to Bob for the rest of his life. His death was especially difficult news for Faye, coming midway through her battle with cancer. She loved music, and especially singing and playing the piano. Improbably, she became a fan of the band The Grateful Dead after seeing them live in 1990. Her contemporaries were more than surprised when she professed her love for their music and referred to herself as a "Deadie". Faye had a striking beauty, a sparkle in her eyes and a joyful laugh. She experimented with painting, and beautifully decorated her home. She loved nature, flowers and animals. She wrote poetry, and had a deeply philosophic and spiritual nature. But most of all Faye loved her family and friends. She deeply loved her sons, Doyle and Randy, Randy's wife Ann and her precious grand-daughter Miranda. She cherished her sister Barbara, her nieces Vicki and Bobbi, and her dear mother, Carlene. Faye had a remarkable mind, and was very lucid until her last days, her bright light only dulled by the heavy pain medicines her body required. We all love her dearly, and will miss her for the rest of our days. A private family graveside service will be held at the Sparrow Family Cemetery in Chapel Hill.